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Posts posted by Overmoon

  1. Later, the sandcastle was fully dissembled and being blown away by wind. I could find about 20 to 30 barrels in the mess we made. Rapping each of them, I could know that none were completely hollow.


    Pauly and Barry, right then, were sleeping on a sand dune, enervated.


    I felt pretty thirsty, and pried open a barrel to get a drink.


    Ale, was there, with no fizz whatsoever.


    I took a sip of the nasty stuff, and decided to allow my buddies to take some when they woke.

  2. Us three trudged through the masses of sand dunes, passing just about every other shop and hut in the island. When I find myself alone, a rare occasion, I wonder why we simply didn't rob those stores. On one of those occasions, I come to the conclusion that it was part of my pirate mentality. Schemes not complicated or grand enough weren't glamorous enough for someone of my taste.


    "Barry, we've crossed the entire length of the island," I complained. "All I can see is sand."


    He bared lemon-colored, worn down teeth, and sneered, "This is the safehouse, dummy! It's the sand sculpture!"


    I squinted with my eyes (It's true I needed glasses, but they just don't fit my image). Smooth walls grew visible on the nearest dune. The tawny sand castle spouted spiraling towers, with its wall's top edged lines with crenels. The only thing not sand was a trap door carved out of driftwood. A child could never have built something of this caliber, unless they possessed days of time and a...kid army, as well as two laid-back parents that would let their kid run around.

  3. Elini gathered Rhen, Lars, and Pirate John at her tower in Veldt. Over her pink diamond-encrusted intercom, she summoned all of her husbands into the living room.


    "Don't tell me I have to join them," said Pirate John. "I am NOT singing 'The Sound of Music' to you again, especially in front of these people."


    Elini gave out a tingly laugh. "No, not this time, dear. Maybe tomorrow. Today, I will tell you the reason why I married all of you."


    "So we could all clean, cook, and work for you."


    "So you could all be extras for Veldt's newest smash hit stage show, starring me. Note that everybody, including you, is wearing matching purple sequin outfits, all designed by the famed seer Talia Maurva. My husbands are quite athletic, suited for dancing a long time."


    "THAT was why you threatened me with a giant Ahriman plushie unless I didn't wear that dumb dress!"


    2 hours later


    Pirate John and Elini's other husbands shyly lined up on the rocky stage, constructed with Lars's magic. They linked arms and began doing the can-can. A few minutes later, Elini herself gracefully lifted the curtains, revealing a golden evening gown, and a hearty plate of fruits and vegetables atop her head. She swayed from side to side, a pleasant finale to the Isles' best attraction yet.


    Even better than the broomstick rides offered by the witches of the swamp, or getting blown out of a giant teapot by talking cats.

  4. How I Got in Jail (Part 2)


    The next day, I met with my inside contact - a dissatisfied waiter at Marge's who got fed up with the fact that she never gave him a raise for the past ten years. (Interestingly enough, his savings consisted of 200 pennies. At least being a pirate had more dignity in it, plus you get to work for yourself.) His name was Barry, and he told us to meet him at the docks at dawn.


    "Hey, what happened to the girl you was takin' with you on dis' raid?" he asked.


    "What girl?" I replied.


    "You said," Barry explained, "you was bringin' youself an' a girl name Polly."


    Oh. Now I understood. Polly sounds like Pauly. Luckily Pauly had no idea what was going on, and sat on a jagged granite rock, weaving his toes in the sand. I carefully and expertly handled the situation. Elini woulda been proud of me.


    "Forgetta bout all this nonsense, boy," I boomed. "Polly's what I'm gonna name the parrot I get with da ale money, an' not some sobbing, crybaby, deck hand."


    Pauly looked up at me, his eyebrows descending into a steep V. His auburn hair stood on end as if I rubbed it with a balloon. His gray eyes even seemed to darken a little?


    Expert handling, huh?


    Okay, I was a bit harsh. I would apologize to him. I resolved to be extra nice and give him a parrot, too, once I got money. I would name it Pauly Jr.