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azureXtwilight

When you feel so down because society acts bad towards you. . .

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Guys, I want to ask your opinion about this:

My family is quite strict, they don't allow me to go out to hang out with my friends after 7 p.m, and they keep "stalking" me or checking my condition whenever I'm with them. That is quite reasonable coz the town I lived in is quite dangerous. Many kidnappers, drug dealers, and (sorry) prostitutes. We keep finding the news at the local paper. That's why they do that. I can't even hitch my friend's motorcycle. The problem is that my friends keep calling me sissy, weak, and others. I hate that! So what should I do? X(

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Just dont pay any attention to those so called friends.Be happy that you have parents who love you,and protect you.Just be the best you can be,in life.

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Invite your friends to visit your home. Find fun and interesting things to do there.

Or find a place that your parents think is "safe" to meet friends and hang out. Maybe another friends house or something like a "boys and girls club".

If there are activities at your school that is a place that is relatively safe to hang out. Join a school club or sport.

The library is a good place too.

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As long as you're underage your parents are fully responsible of you. After you are a grown up you'll be able to decide with whom, where and how you're going to hang out. And if you keep respecting your parents' rules they might take it easy when you grow little older.

 

The rules always mean your parents love you and don't want you to get hurt (physically or emotionally). Deal with it and it will get easier to confront them later! ;)

 

And what's with your friends telling you you're a sissy? Do they know what rules mean or are they just spoiled ppl who've got everything they want?

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Mostly, when people call you names, it's because they're jealous of something you have. Parents' love, well, it's easy to be jealous of that. If you can, try to ignore those names they call you, or take them as a compliment, or an indication of something positive (your parents love and try to protect you, that's not something that should be taken for granted).

 

Like Leelah said, when you grow up, they'll let go (and if they don't they might lose you). They probably just want you to grow up and not be killed in the process (from what you said, they have good reason to fear for you).

 

Whoooopdeeeedo had some very good pieces of advice to give you. You should try them out, or at least consider them. :)

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Thanks guys, I'm okay with the regulations. But the fact is that I'll get banned from the friends' group when this happen. You know, when we were camping, my parents followed the class' bus and I got teased in the whole camping session :(

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Well, I agree with everything mentioned above.

But in this situation.. Were you the one followed by your parents to camping? If yes, then just explain them there's nothing to be afraid of, if there are a lot of other children with you.

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Lolz following you once is okay! Twice is also okay! But if they do it thrice then do what lillac said. Once they will believe that nothing is wrong then you won't have such problems. As for friends calling sissy- tell them that they are not loved by parents thats why they are jealous(as mae said) of you. And if the area is dangerous then its okay if they don't let you out in night.

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Ah, well, the area was dangerous. (wild animals hazard, not to mention that it was a sacred mountain, we met ghosts O.o)

Maybe the problem is with them. I know this is bad, but I kinda wished they don't get accepted in my university. =_= (I won via the talented students test but they took the regular test)

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@kbljkl: I never ever suggested that azure start telling her friends that they are jealous. That is no way to maintain a friendship (not that calling someone a sissy is either).

 

@azure: When you get to uni, you'll see a world of opportunities open up to you. You'll make new friends and if you don't want to hang out with people that get you down, you don't have to. Why is it that you call these people friends? To me they don't sound like good friends. How long have you got until uni?

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Hmm, I still have to go to school for a while after holiday, but after that it's over. They applied at the same uni and still waiting for test result. I am afraid that they'll do the same thing, and spread about me "being a sissy at high school". That's why I was hoping things like they fail. I know it's bad, but. . . Sigh.

 

Well, I hung out with them for two years. We were very nice friends, but in the last year, they changed after that camping day. =_=

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@Mae: lolz don't worry I just said that you gave the point of jealous. Though i forgot to add that say it if they say you sissy everytime lolz. Like when i was small and my friends used to make fun of my name WHOLE day that at the end they forgot my real name and started calling em twiht that name lolz. Then i made a good name for them and started calling them by those not-so-good names xD. Then they asked whats my real name lolz.

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@azure: if you're university is like mine, chances are you won't bump into them a lot due to the size of the university. And they'll have their own issues to deal with in university. (its not like highschool for one thing and you have to find your cliques again)

 

Also your 'friends' don't sound like friends anymore. More like bullies cuz friends don't keep insulting/harassing/making fun of each other when its past the point of fun for both parties.

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Most convenient way to say it is "I don't want to spend time with you, if you keep on calling me names. Friends don't do that so goodbye" or something alike. It's not that harsh if you think how they treat you now!

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Like Leelah said, make it about the behaviour and not about the people. That way your friends may be more receptive to what you're saying. Perhaps they haven't realized what they were doing (or how bad it really is), and after you've really confronted them, and told them that it really isn't ok for them to continue, they might even change their behaviour towards you. Not that you need to continue being friends with them all that easily, but after time, trust may be built.

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Lemme guess. Only child? You're lucky and it's irritating at the same time. I think I dealed with it by playing on the computer all the time lol...

 

Prostitutes are everywhere, don't kid yourself. One lives down the street from me and she has a husband and 2 kids, but she meets strange men and charges them for sex >_> Least they don't hurt anyone other than themselves.

 

I can only guess you're from a poophole like Brazil, Mexico or Detroit, in which case, I completely see your parents point. They are overprotective, but you're likely smart enough to avoid trouble. 7 is a reasonable time, it's before it gets too dark after all. In the dark, thats when things happen. =/

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@kipani: If i'm interpreting your post correctly, you're completely missing the point of this thread.

 

azure agrees his(her?) parents' conditions are quite reasonable because she/he understand her/his town is dangerous.

 

That was never in question.

 

The problem is the very last sentence of the first post:

"The problem is that my friends keep calling me sissy, weak, and others. I hate that! So what should I do? X("

 

She/he has issues with friends, not with her/his parents and their restrictions.

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@Ktc: last time i checked azure was a "she". xDD

 

@Aure: lolz i have been through that type of difficulties earlier(The friends irritating me) but mostly they do when they don't have any work and get bored. Thats when they need fun so they start making fun of others. You can always make fun of them too, maybe then they will stop irritating you. that worked for me. Though do not make a lot fun of them. Just make a small joke. Nothing big lolz.

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@Azure (Be forewarned: Elie on "long-winded mode")

 

I've an overprotective dad so I understand what you're going through :P And I'm going to be 24 this year but he sometimes treat me like a 3 year old *facepalms* while on other occasions he goes on and on about me not acting my age or something like that :lol:

 

Well, some parents tend to be overprotective and or clingy whether or not you're the only child or the youngest one among X no. of siblings. I have a friend who's mother called to check on him every hour when we were in youth camp. For his mother's case, she was all alone and he was the only child she still has around her while the others were busy living life on their own. He was like a security blanket that she could hold onto while it would last.

 

Sometimes parents act like that not because you aren't reliable/trustworthy, they too have their own insecurities. What you can do for them to ease their worries is to show them you are thankful for what they do and you understand how they feel (even if they annoys you to no end sometimes). Show them you are responsible with what you do and they might relax their grip on you.

 

As for friends, I don't think those friends of yours were acting like what friends should be. Teasing is one thing but if it keeps going on and make you feel so bad and depress, they should have stopped or maybe they aren't true friends who know you well enough.

 

My dad fetches me around as I don't have my own car, and I normally would let him know where I'll be so he don't have to worry. Sometimes my friends do tease me about it, but it was just for plain, harmless fun. Having good, trustworthy friends are a merit to yourself and it does help to lessen your parents' worries.

 

(another example from my own experience :P)

Once I was in my friends' place having a Chinese New Year feast and my dad called to check if I'm done so he could pick me home. My friends even tried to create havoc, one tried shouting at the top of his voice, "You left your lingerie here!" :lol: That was hilarious. When my dad came to pick me up, the whole group went silent. I couldn't help laughing my head off seeing how they were :lol:

 

My dad, as protective as he is, he never impose any curfew on me so I'm free to roam as long as he knows what I'll be doing and with whom. I come home as late as 12am or if I need to spend the night at my friends', I just give him a call to let him know. The reason being is that he had learned to trust me and my friends. He did get to see for himself what some of my friends were like so even with new group of friends, he was able to trust us that we won't land ourselves in trouble.

 

After all that had been said (by me :P), just try to make the best out of what you've got for now. Parents maybe annoying but they won't always be with you forever, just enjoy while you can :P

 

Be responsible in the things you do to gain their trust, don't lie just so you can get out things. If they said no, then perhaps it wasn't meant to be or now isn't the right time.

 

You're still young (much as you might not want to admit as how I'm getting old *coughs*), there are many things to learn and experience than you'll ever know. Be happy and live life!

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