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Aveyond 2: A Parody - Update June 7

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Yay! I like writing stuff like this!

 

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Snow Lady: Where are you, Evil Minion with that name that I forgot!

Imp: I have a name you know!

Snow Lady: I know but I forgot it so shut it!

Imp: But-

Snow Lady: Live with it!

Imp: Whaaaaaa!!!! *cries*

Snow Lady: You are such a baby! *turns imp into human*

Imp: Am I a tough guy now?

Snow Lady: Hardly!

Imp: But-

Snow Lady: Live with it! Anyways, *points to world map* I wanna rule here and here and here and here and here and here and here and here and . . . here!

Imp: Why didn't you just say the whole world?

Snow Lady: *ignores* And I wanna be the Snow Queen and turn everyone to ice and say "Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha" until I die.

Imp: You won't do that for long, M'lady!

Snow Lady: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?! ARE YOU PLANNING MY DEATH OR SOMETHING?!?!?!

Imp: Meep.

Snow Lady: Meep is dang right!

Imp: Can we end now?

Snow Lady: Yeah, whatever.

 

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Thanks!

 

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Chapter 1

 

Ean: Oh la la la! Skipping through Elfwood! And- Oh my goddess I almost fell through one of those holes that happen to be in the middle of our town so that means . . . our town is FLOATING!!!

 

Ean's Mom: Just get in here because I'm getting tired of your stupid rant!

 

Ean: Fine, Mother! So where is Iya?

 

EM: I don't know! She took her test, right?

 

Ean: But you just said that you didn't-

 

EM: Nevermind what I said! Go get Ima!

 

Ean: Iya.

 

EM: Iya, Shmiya.

 

Ean: *cries*

 

EM: Why do I have the only crying child in the whole vale?

 

Ean: You realize I'm a teen?

 

EM: Just leave!

 

Ean: *leaves* Oh, hey, look! I left the vale and now I'm bigger than everything and there are holes in the world :o!!! And how am I supposed do fit through that hole that leads to the forest? Oh I will just go through! *goes*

 

In the Forest . . .

 

Girl: I passed it! I passed it!

 

Ean: Whatever I will find pretty maiden Iya now and she will tell me stuff and I will just nod my head and ignore her! La la l-

 

Iya: Hi Ean!

 

Ean: Aaah! Oh . . . its you.

 

Iya: Yeah! And guess what!

 

Ean: You failed your test for the, like, billionth time!

 

Iya: Yeah!

 

Ean: You sound happy.

 

Iya: I am, for I am the Overly Enthusiastic Iya!

 

Ean: Yeah . . . great . . . now can we go?

 

Iya: Yeah!

 

Back in the World Map . . .

 

Ean: Iya, did you ever notice that the world has holes in it? I guess it must be only in the vale because I looked at pictures of the human world and there were no deadly holes or anything like that. Did you notice that, Iya?

 

Iya: Yes, but I also noticed something else!

 

Ean: Yeah? Its about me, right? Its about how I'm so smart for noticing holes and I can talk for ten minutes straight without taking a breathe and you think that I will save you sometime in the future and I am awesome, right?

 

Iya: Umm . . . no . . . but I noticed that you rant to much.

 

Ean: Yeah, mommy says that too and that I shoudln't be going and studying holes and I should be a good little elf-

 

Iya: Stop ranting!

 

Ean: Sorry.

 

Iya: Now let's go through that hole in the trees that leads to the vale!

 

Ean: Okay.

 

Back in Ean's House . . .

 

EM: I'm gonna make honey biscuits and you will get me the honey because I'm to lazy to get it myself!

 

Ean: I will end with a rant. So we will get the honey and what if there are bees in the place and are there holes on the way? And if there are I'm gonna study them till I'm an expert on holes and I will know so much about holes I will be god of holes!

 

Iya: *makes spiral motions around ear* Coo-koo!

 

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EM: I'm gonna make honey biscuits and you will get me the honey because I'm to lazy to get it myself!

 

Ean: I will end with a rant. So we will get the honey and what if there are bees in the place and are there holes on the way? And if there are I'm gonna study them till I'm an expert on holes and I will know so much about holes I will be god of holes!

 

 

 

LOL!!! This is so funny! Hehe . . . god of holes . . .

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Lol hilarious! Really good, keep doing it.

 

Best question ever made: "Iya, did you ever notice that the world has holes in it?"

 

Yes Ean, it has, don't fall into any, though that would be funny.

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@marie: She's not the Snow Queen yet. Just some random lady . . . or something ;)

 

And . . . . Update!!!

 

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Chapter 2

 

Ean: I do not know where the bee hive is so I will have to make Iya the leader of the party if you can call this a party because we only have two people and could you call it a party if it were just one person traveling with themselves?

 

Iya: Ean, I though you knew about stuff.

 

Ean: I only know about holes and- hey, look Iya we are giants on the world map!

 

Iya: Whatever! Just let me lead! *goes into forest*

 

Ean: But this is not a bee hive? Or is it because I don't know what a bee hive is.

 

Iya: No, dummy, this is the forest and this path that we're going on is the way to the bee hive!

 

Ean: But if its the Way then how is it a forest?

 

Iya: There's a way in the forest and- oh hey, look, there's the bee hive!

 

Ean: Yay! *enters bee hive with Iya*

 

Turorial Voice: This a a dangerous place because there are monsters and you fight them so be well equiped!

 

Iya: Yeah yeah yeah, whatever, I know how to fight unlike someone here!

 

Ean: Iya, did you notice that there are no holes in here so I will not fall and I can't study holes and I can't stand it! Oh, wait, nevermind I can, I'm still standing up.

 

Iya: *touches bee* Ooo! Battle screen!

 

Ean: How do you battle?

 

Iya: Like this! *whacks bees with knife without waiting for bees to take a turn* I've always wanted to do that! Ooo! Gold! *touches bees until the hive is covered with dead bee corpses*

 

Ean: Aah! Iya! Look out! Queen Bee!

 

Iya: You know, that's supposed to be my line but I'm no coward so I'll let you say the stupid line. *kills all bees in single hit*

 

Ean: Iya, you know what I think is weird?

 

Iya: What?

 

Ean: Well there aren't any holes in here and I'm still gaining experience which is weird because my whole life I've believed that you have to be near a hole to gain experience and we are still gaining experience!

 

Iya: You have a lot to learn . . .

 

Ean: About what?

 

Iya: About everything, that's what!

 

Ean: That's a good thing, right?

 

Iya: Oh my . . . dummy alert.

 

Ean: Let's go!

 

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Back in Ean's house . . .

 

Ean: Hi mommy we got the honey and I listened to Iya talking to me!

 

Iya: And I listened to lots of dumb rants.

 

EM: I think everyone has from Ean! Now Iya you have to leave cuz your mom wants you plus I hate Ean!

 

Iya: What does that have to do with me leaving? But I will leave anyways because I don't want to listen to any more of Ean's dumb rants. Bye! *leaves*

 

EM: Ean go to bed because its not dark out!

 

Ean: But that doesn't make sense!

 

EM: Just do it!

 

Ean: Okay . . . *goes to bed*

 

To be continued . . . in some other post . . .

 

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Hope you like it!

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Ean: Well there aren't any holes in here and I'm still gaining experience which is weird because my whole life I've believed that you have to be near a hole to gain experience and we are still gaining experience!

 

 

 

lol. :laughing:

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Glad you like it :)

 

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Chapter 3

 

Iya: Oh, I'm so cold . . . And hey, there's a hole here! *winces* I'm turning into Ean! Oh noes!

 

Snow Queen: Hello, elf girly!

 

Iya: Who are you?

 

SQ: The Snow Queen.

 

Iya: STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER!

 

SQ: Am I really a stranger? Look into my eyes.

 

Iya: Umm, 1. You are a total stranger because I have just met you. 2. Why are your eyes so great? 3. Are you trying to hypnotize me?

 

SQ: Umm . . . hyp-no-tize? Ne-ver Would I try to hyp-no-tize some-one like you litt-le elf girl-y.

 

Iya: Yeah, sure, whatever. So, why am I hear? Is this dreamland? Are you the goddess?

 

SQ: No but I heard your prayers!

 

Iya: What prayers?

 

SQ: You want magic?

 

Iya: Oh yeah that! But I think I have some now cuz I accidentaly blasted a rabbit through a hole in the Vale.

 

SQ: I will give you more magic!

 

Iya: And I accidentaly blew up my grandmother.

 

SQ: You want more magic?

 

Iya: No thanks, I like blowing people up with my mind.

 

SQ: But- *hand blows up*

 

Iya: See? I used magic to blow up your hand!

 

SQ: Whoah . . .

 

Iya: But I will go with you and be your daughter because I'm tired of Ean's ranting.

 

SQ: What?! How did you know that I want you as my daughter? I never said it!

 

Iya: Oh . . . that. Well, you see, I can read minds.

 

SQ: Okay, whatever you are coming with me! *puts Iya in a new dress using magic*

 

Iya: I wish I could do that!

 

SQ: You will learn. Now let's go!

 

Iya: And are you really going to make people forget about me?

 

SQ: How did you know about that? And yes, I will.

 

Iya: Again, Mind reading.

 

SQ: *transports both of them*

 

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Somewhere in Ean's Dream . . .

 

Iya: EEEEEEEAAAAANNNNN!!!

 

Ean: *long pause* Iya? Is that you? Hey, guess what I found this new hole and I really want you to see it so if you would stop yelling I would show you but I'm not quite sure that I'm awake and are you awake because sometimes I can talk in my sleep and when I do that I forget that I am asleep and I think that I am awake so can I show you the hole?

 

Iya: EAN! Just come and save me okay?

 

Ean: Iya, just come on I wanna show you this hole!

 

Iya: Ean you stupid elf! I think that I'll get someone else to save me! BBBBYYYYYEEEE!!!

 

Ean: *wakes up*

 

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And you get one!

 

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Chapter 4

 

Ean: Oh hi mom I'm feeling really good and guess what? I like holes!

 

EM: Anything else new?

 

Ean: I had a dream!

 

EM: Now go get Iya and give her this biscuit. You don't get one because you are an elf brat.

 

Ean: Who is Iya? Some new friend of mine?

 

EM: Don't you know who Iya is? That elf girl?

 

Ean: Oh yeah! Iya!

 

EM: Who is Iya?

 

Ean: Bye! *goes outside*

 

Ean's Dad: Look at this snow! Nobody has ever seen this much snow in the Vale! Did your mom give you a biscuit?

 

Ean: Oooo snow is cold! And what is a biscuit?

 

ED: I don't know.

 

Ean: Why don't I know anything?

 

ED: Cause you got my genes.

 

Ean: YAY! Oh yeah, I gotta go to Iya's house. *goes*

 

Iya's Mom: Hi Ean!

 

Ean: Yeah hi where is Iya?

 

IM: Who is Iya you freak?

 

Ean: Your daughter.

 

IM: Nope. Got 1 daughter. Her name is not Iya.

 

Ean: Oh, sorry to bother you, gotta snoop around your house now.

 

IM: Sure, whatever!

 

Ean: *snoops around Iya's old room* Oh, here is the thing that Iya keeps her stuff under. Oh look here is a bow! Yay! I'm not crazy! Or am I?

 

IM: Are you done?

 

Ean: Yeah, bye! *goes to that place with the Elders* Hi old people!

 

Elder 1: Hi!

 

Elder 2: *is dead*

 

Elder 3: *is dead*

 

Ean: So I have this problem.

 

E1: Go talk to the Elder Oak. Bye!

 

Ean: Bye! *goes to Elder Oak*

 

At the Elder Oak . . .

 

Ean: Hi!

 

Elder Oak: . . .

 

Ean: Wake up!

 

EO: . . .

 

Ean: I have a problem!

 

EO: *grows face with mustache* Hello. Go to the Land of Man and go to the Snowy Place called Shaenlir!

 

Ean: OH NOOOOOOOOOEESSS!!!

 

EO: Bye! *grows teleport*

 

Ean: Oooo sparkly glowy! *touches* AAAHH!!! *is teleported*

 

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Hope you like.

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:)

 

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Chapter 5

 

Ean: Dude . . . so this is the man world place land thingy? It smells like peanuts. This is boring. I wanna skip to after I talk to those people in the village and travel up the mountain. I wanna skip to when I'm in Shaenlir or whatever that place is called! *some crazy weird force (a.k.a me) skips ahead in time to that Shaenlir place*

 

Man: Hi!

 

Ean: Hi is this that one mountain place that's all snowy?

 

Man: Yes, it is Shaenlir, and it was founded by the Snow-

 

Ean: Yes, yes, are there any holes here? And is it dangerous and is this the land of man where I am never supposed to be?

 

Man: Err . . . . umm . . . bye! *runs away*

 

Ean: BYE BYE MISTER MAGIC CUPCAKE MAN! BUT IS THAT REALLY YOUR NAME OR AM I MAKING THAT UP?!!!!

 

Woman: Hmm . . . you're pretty cute . . . are you free on Sunday?

 

Ean: Uh . . . yeah! Wait, today is Tuesday, right?

 

Woman: Yes!

 

Ean: Okay . . . I'll meet you at the bottom of the mountain. And what is your name?

 

Woman: *whispers* I'm Iya, you fool! Come to the castle later and rescue me! I'll be waiting! *leaves*

 

Ean: YAY! She called me a fool! At least I think that's a good thing . . . oh well! Time to save pretty maiden Iya! *goes to random house and gets servant clothes and then puts them on and goes to the castle*

 

Guard: Halt! You gotta go in this way cuz you're a servant! Oh, and it takes a really long time to get to where you're going if you take this path! Bye!

 

Ean: Bye! *takes ridiculously long pathway* Hi Iya!

 

Iya: Hi Ean! Look, I found this mirror AND the Snow Queen is planning to kill me so let's get out of here using my magic!

 

Ean: Wasn't I supposed to find the mirror and tell you to use magic?

 

Iya: Yes, but I thought I'd find it and all that to speed things up!

 

Ean: You're smart, Iya.

 

Iya: You just found that out? Now come on!

 

Guard 1: Halt!

 

Guard 2: Yeah, what he said!

 

G1: Hey, aren't you that servant that I let in here?

 

G2: Yeah, what he said!

 

G1: Get them!

 

G2: Yeah, what he said!

 

Iya: *uses magic*

 

G1: *dies*

 

G2: Yeah, what he did! *dies*

 

Iya: Follow me! *shows Ean secret path*

 

Ean: Cool.

 

Iya: I know, right? Now here we go!

 

Ean: AAAAAAAAHH!!!

 

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Oh, and what ending should Ean choose?

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Iya: *uses magic*

 

G1: *dies*

 

G2: Yeah, what he did! *dies*

 

:D :D :D hahaha, okay this just made my day :D

---

Iya sounds good, I mean I agree with matri on this one :P

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Thanks!

 

Hmm . . . custom ending slowly forming in my brain :evil:

 

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Ean: Ooo cool place you found Iya!

 

Iya: Yeah, it is, but should I lock the door?

 

Voice: Hey, do you think that the elf found this door that is a secret escape?

 

Other Voice: How would she find a ridiculously obvious door in the place where she goes every day? Let's go.

 

Iya: I don't think I have to lock the door . . . but I will anyways. *uses magic*

 

Ean: I want my real clothes. *puts on chlothes*

 

Iya: I need new clothes but those other clothes that I magically found in the chest make me look ugly. I think I'll make pretty clothes using my brain power. *uses brainpower*

 

Ean: Hey, look! *clothes appear*

 

Iya: YAY! *puts them on* There, now I am pretty. Let's go!

 

Ean: Hey Iya, what does this switch do?

 

Iya: I don't care! Let's find out! *pulls*

 

Genie: You pulled my switch! What is your wish?

 

Iya: We want to get out of here!

 

Genie: Okay! *teleports to house* Now you don't have to fight the annoying wiverns that eat you and munch on you and have you for a yummy yummy snacky-poo!

 

Iya: Ooookay . . . bye! *runs away*

 

Ean: Ooo . . . I'm feeling faint . . .

 

Iya: Good, now I don't have to pass out and act all stupid and weak. Let's go, Ean! *drags Ean to house and knocks on door*

 

Old Lady: Hi I'm the oracle and I wanna tell you a prophecy! Ean did you know I'm your great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother? That's why I talk a lot so now listen to me because there is this prophecy that you will save the world, blah blah blah, defeat the snow queen, blah blah blah, find nymphs and unite kingdoms. Also Ean you gotta stay with Iya for reasons unknown.

 

Ean: LOLwhut?

 

Iya: Thanks you, oracle, and forgive your . . . err . . . grandson for his teensie tiny brains. Bye! *leaves*

 

Ean: Can we stop now because we have to sleep sometime, right?

 

Iya: Zzzzz . . . zzzzz . . .

 

Ean: Goodbye for now and remember, this is not a game show!

 

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xD

Still soo funny xD

 

:

Ean: Can we stop now because we have to sleep sometime, right?

 

Iya: Zzzzz . . . zzzzz . . .

 

Ean: Goodbye for now and remember, this is not a game show!

__________________________________________________

 

 

xD

Since when could ean say one word without being dump? xD

 

Also, it Wrywern(I think) Not Wiverns. But i'm not 100% sure.

Anyways, it doesn't matter, i'm just a perfectionist. :P

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