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theone

Romantic Love (Referred to as just love)

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I believe love has to be one of the most horrible things one can feel for another person. It wastes your time and energy. Often it is nothing but lust tempered with a few feelings and sprinkled with a few pangs of pain. Nothing I have seen suggests love is anything more than a passing feeling, soon to disappear.

 

And it can have far reaching consequences. One could marry in love and regret it all his life.

 

Also, no one I have seen has ever retained this love for more than a few years.

 

Your thoughts?

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I totally agree with you. Love is like math, its very complicated and also boring...

 

And also I am confused by the definition of "True Love". It is like a sickness that makes you always think about the one you love, and can make you do crazy things just for the love!

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IvanaDeRossi wrote:

Love is fun if you think of it as a game. Predator vs prey. W00t.

 

I'm still confused :S

 

Is love a game that eats someone???

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Nah, I believe that if you do it right love will not go away. If you find the right person and you're willing to put effort to make it work, it will last. There's always gonna be conflict, differences, and problem, but it doesn't mean the love has gone away.

 

It will stop being all sparkles and rainbows and fireworks, but the essence of love itself will still be there. That sparkly feeling is NOT the "love". It's the euphoria that came with the love, but not love itself.

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I think of it as more of a double edge sword.

 

Love is one of those things that if you got it, it's requited, and the people's personalities are compatible (meaning they can compromise and are secure in their feelings. If they're constantly clashing, love alone probably wouldn't be enough), it's possibly one of the best feelings in the world (if opinions are to be believed). And I mean real love, not crushes/passing fancies. Some couples (some even here I think) have stayed together for years and are still loving each other.

 

But if it's unrequited or the persons are uncompatbile/unsecure, it can turn quite nasty.

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I agree with d_a and KTC. Both touched on why couples last. They have to comprise and put effort into the relationship. If you aren't willing to do those things, then the relationship will fail.

 

It's why I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over five years now. We have fights, but we talk things through.

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I think people take love way too seriously. I think many times couples break up because one or both of them is unwilling to accept changes in the other, even though change is part of human nature.

 

I also think people are too hung up in the "one true love" ideal. Sometimes you might love more than one person. Sometimes you might be married but find someone else whose company you enjoy, but that doesn't mean you love your spouse any less.

 

Personally I think polygamy should be legal if all involved parties are all right with it, but that's just me.

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Bible says:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

It is taken from 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

 

In my religion, the bible is a book of knowledge. So, it explains much about love.

 

P.S: @IvanaDeRossi The end means that the relationship is over.

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I have never experienced romantic love, but I have to disagree with you, theone. Perhaps you just have not seen real love or refuse to see it.

 

As others have said already, love is a double-edged sword. It has the power to make you incredibly happy but also incredibly sad. But, society has lied to people, making them think that "true love" is something almost magical, something that requires no effort at all. In reality, if you want a relationship to work, there has to be a mutual give-and-take, there are sacrifices, there is compromise, just as with any other type of relationship out there. We cannot always get what we want, so why should we expect it from our significant other?

 

Still, I believe I have seen true love, particularly in the face of difficult times. I have seen a woman grieve next to her husband's deceased body and lovingly take a lock of his hair with her to keep. I have seen a man cry at his dying wife's bedside, telling me how they met, how he can't imagine how he'll get by without her, how she's everything to him. I have seen a husband drive every day for over a year for 45 minutes to and from the hospital to visit his wife, take her for walks in her wheelchair, help feed her and give her her medications.

 

Even in the confused and elderly, I have seen love. When I used to work part-time in a nursing home, we had an elderly couple as residents. Because we had to separate the males and females, they were in separate rooms - the wife had her own private room while the husband had a shared room. Since years before coming to us, the wife had been blind, relying on her husband to be her eyes. We tried to tell the husband that, in the nursing home, he didn't have to be there 24/7 like before, but due to dementia, he never remembered what we told him. Every night, we'd find him wandering the halls, looking for her. Finally, management gave in, we got an extra bed, and put it next to his wife's. It was cramped but after that, the husband finally stopped wandering the halls at night. And during the day, they could always be seen walking hand-in-hand or dancing together in the lounge.

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@theone: Reading back on the first post, you're mistaking lust/obsession for love. What you describe is not love. Media may call it love, but it isn't. It's still lust and/or obsession.

 

@Beginners: Why do you need to spoiler-hide the Bible quote? :o It's not offensive and it's not a big secret.

------------------------

Speaking of the Bible... It really depends on what your idea of an ideal romantic love is like. The crazy world probably had it different, but I stick to the old fashioned idea that romance = marriage = babies, just like what the Bible says.

 

In my opinion, romantic love should be treated just the same as familial or friendship kind of love. People generally are willing to make big sacrifices for the sake of family and closest friends. You may have an annoying family, but you don't just walk out the door and cut yourself from the family unless the family really have done something terrible to you. If your best friend that you really care about makes you mad, you may have a fight, but then you cool down and then forgive them unless what they've done is truly out of line.

 

You ought to be willing to do the same thing for a romantic partner because they're first your friend and, when you take the relationship a step further, your family. If your friend is truly your friend you wouldn't want to let them go and you can't divorce yourself from your family. If you can apply this to your romantic partner, then you might have a better chance to make it work. The sparkly fluffy fuzzy feeling and sex that media likes to call "love" nowadays should be placed last in priority. I mean, if you're in a relationship just for the fizz and bang, then you're setting yourself up for a short-lived fling and lots of hurt.

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@d_a: Oh I see... Well now it is unhided. I just want to test if you forgot or remember the verses.

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I never said all love is lust, actually. I'm just saying that most is. On a related note, how does one differentiate between them?

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By your feelings. If you just want someone because they're attractive, then that's just lust. If care about someone and you want to be with them, then it's love.

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Then it'd still be love. For love, you'll be attracted to them, but if you just want them because of that attraction then it's just lust. I'm not saying that you can't be attracted to someone and not care about them. I'm just saying love is more than just attraction.

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@theone: You didn't say lust is love, but the feeling you described in the initial post is NOT love. That is infatuation, lust, obsession, or a combination of those. It is NOT love.

 

Love does not go away. If you claim that people cannot maintain that "love" for more than a few years? Then it isn't real love. It's infatuation.

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Oh, now I know the meaning of "True Love". It is when you care about someone and will do anything just to make him/her happy. Is it right?

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Yeah, I think that is one aspect of it: putting your loved one's happiness and well-being ahead of, or at least on par with, your own.

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@theone: I agree with D_A on this one. If you think love or romance is all about fluff-fluff, sugar-sweet, and flawless relationship, you're going to get a big disappointment. Romance is just like all interpersonal relationship, and they're full of flaws. Humans aren't perfect, and no matter how attractive a person is, and no matter how compatible their personality is to yours, they're bound to have flaws and habits you don't like.

 

During the course of the relationship, romantic or otherwise, you will inevitably encounter rocky stages, but going through this phase is what builds up the understanding (unless the other person is really horrible, in which your complains would be justified). If you are not willing to go through the difficulties, and simply sit around complain, sulk, and bemoan about how miserable this relationship is causing you, then you're just a selfish person who thinks other people are just there to suit your convenience.

 

P.S. by "you", I don't mean theone personally, just the general population who thinks love is a cheap, and loved ones disposable people you can just toss once you're tired of them.

 

Edited to remove profanity. I removed the word once, why did you think I'd let it stay a second time?

~Mopiece

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