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unconditional love

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ah, ktc, you seem to view love much the way that i do...the heat often does die down...initial interest wanes...and the glow and glimmer with which we shined our interests with fades and doesnt seem nearly so bright...

 

s

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@KTC The very definition of unconditional love is, there are NO conditions in which your love will die. So in a sense it is blind, but it chooses to be blind. You know the faults are there but you choose to love anyway.

When I was 15 what I understood of love was different than my conception of love at 30. I have to admit, that at 30 I knew nothing about love compared to now. It is something that adjusts as you grow and learn.

 

@Sargon, you are talking about unrequited love.;)

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:oops:Just lots of years of observation. I'm the kind that studies out what and why I did what I did. Delving deep to figure out my true motives and such. I've ended up with lots of skinned knees, but it's worth the effort, this self reflection. Much more rewarding to point out the errors in yourself than in others.

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@Oracle: I agree with you

@Serendipity: I can see where you're coming from

 

Unconditional love encompasses basically bits and pieces of what everyone has said. But, I believe it also has to do with the type of dynamic between the persons in the relationship, either familial, intimate or otherwise.

Expanding a bit on Serendipity's post: I believe that unconditional love calls for self-sacrifice, total and complete trust, faith, honesty and an innate understanding and awareness of the other person and who they are and how they act. And accepting every flaw plus whatever baggage they're carrying with them.

As for explaining unconditional love: It's not something you can define or explain, but rather like an arcane epiphany that comes over you. Usually, the epiphany is something you've heard someone say to you over and over again and are very well familiar with but, you just perceive it with an enlightenment and a firm and unwavering certainty of knowing the true meaning, which is the very core of its essence.(Again, difficult to explain.)

Okay yes, unconditional love may seem unreasonable or far-fetched to some people but, going along with the views of LadyTwilight, I'd have to agree with her in believing that some people are capable of unconditional love and others aren't. However it is in all of us and the choice is ours. But in order to discover, initiate or utilize it, the choice needs to come from within the individual. So, when I say some people aren't capable of unconditional love, I simply mean they choose not to have unconditional, or they have no awareness of their capability to love or their lingering personal issues from the past or present are hindering them from ever discovering that kind of love within themselves.

As for the issue with self-sacrifice or the giving up of one's self before realizing unconditional love and that having to do with dismissing human nature. I believe that to not be true. Because first of all, who said you couldn't take care of yourself while being self-less and having unconditional love for others? It's like you're giving people an ultimatum between yourself and other people. Yes, balance is key, but again, that doesn't mean you can't be self-less and still take care of yourself. With unconditional love you don't need to drop everything and focus only on one thing. I believe it's possible to always have unconditional love and still function like a normal human being. I'm not saying that any of you said that but,I just want to make my point. Last thing, in order to have unconditional love I believe it has to begin with yourself. If, not how will you be able to love someone else unconditionally? Mind you, some people just have an innate capability of unconditional love that even they're not aware of it.

 

P.S. It's really great to hear everyone's opinions.

Cheers! :celebrate:

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@amitiel - an "arcane epiphany"...perhaps that is why the concept is so foreign to us today...simply because it is a concept that is old, romantic (thus, almost fantasy-driven)...our world makes the concept difficult to grasp...

 

s

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@Serendipity - maybe it only seems foreign...because over time people have replaced it with a "newer" version of love leaving the essence behind and thus not able to define it anymore, because it's no longer original but a mere copy that has no firm substance...not to say that the love that people experience now contains no substance whatsoever but rather, their love isn't being experienced to its full capacity. but what do i know? these are just my theories and opinions. (i simply like to discuss and explore my ideas out loud, crazy as they may sound...lol)

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@amitiel, I agree it is very hard to put into words. In the beginning of the thread when I said you had to give up yourself, I should have added that by doing so you find yourself. The more you love unconditionally the more you get back. The rewards you receive in personal joy far outway the old self.

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oooh...nice topic. i just checked it out.

 

@KTC: "Love." That can mean a lot of things. like, i love chocolate, but not in the same way as i love my parents. i also love sleep, but in a different way than how i love chocolate (and my parents). that's the trouble with language.

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The Greek translations of the bible separate love into 3 categories. It seems to help define the different kinds of love.

There is the Erotic Love shared between mates.

There is Family Love, shared between family members.

There is Agape' Love, this is the kind of love God has for us, this is Unconditional Love. This love can be shared with everyone.

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I totally agree with you Serendipity but that would also bring up the issue of value and worth... in this particular topic, it'd be the worth of another individual, of self, etc. I guess you could even go further by getting to the meaning or root of why this person or even yourself would be so important, important enough to be worthy of unconditional love...but I think I'm beginning to digress a bit ;)

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@amitiel - our definition of "worth" these days seems to reside in Products and Promotions...what are our Products (what do we offer as far as a service - job, education, motivation, talents, etc) and what are our Promotions (what name brand do we wear/share, what "things" do we have that we associate ourselves/others with - these are the things that tend to define us)...

 

s

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But see, all persons are worthy of unconditional love. :loving: In the words of Abraham Lincoln: All men are created equal.

 

We are all human. We all have the same red blood. To define worthiness of love by wealth, outward beauty or intelligence is preposterous. Unconditional love has to include everyone or it isn't unconditional.

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@oracle - yes, but even he didnt fully believe those words...he didnt want people to be enslaved and to be considered property, but that equality was conditional...(totally different topic, tho)...

 

but what i am saying is that the worthiness of love is about our individual perceptions of worth...

 

s

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Serendipity, Wrt first post:

That is still a topic of heated debate among psychologists today. . .

 

So there is no real answer.

Though some really weird arguments have been made, even by the pros. =P

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@ryuzaki - it is a topic of heated debate amongst psychologists because it is still relevant...there will never be one answer because it is all up to interpretation...which makes the discussion that more interesting...plus, i have to believe that the art of polite disagreement still exists...

 

s

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@oracle: "Unconditional love has to include everyone or it isn't unconditional."

 

^ which makes this highly unlikely, or perhaps a 1 in an infinite chance lol. All humans have their own opinions and limits. I doubt anyone can just love anyone, just like that. The only stage anyone does that, is when they're a baby, uninfluenced and 'untaught' yet. Finally found that song I was looking for: You've got to be carefully taught

 

As for that arcane love: fairly romanticized to the point it's a clique.

 

@serendipity: imo, the only reason why love is 'relevant', is due to media attention. ;) Disney films, romance films, romance books, love songs, various images in magazines/papers, etc. Heck, there's a whole industry based on 'love'. Take away the influence, and you take away the relevance/importance.

 

Like, if you've never started smoking, you obviously won't see the relevance of it.

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I haven't read all the posts, but I think in order for love to work it's got to be balance with love coming from both sides, even if it's just a little bit coming from one person. So if one person gives unconditional love then the other must, otherwise it can't be unconditional. BUT, love in general is pretty selfish. You want to be loved back by the person you're giving love to; be it child, friend, family, lover, etc. But when something is unconditional that means you don't expect anything in return--actually, you pretty much can only hope to end up losing out if you're trying to be unconditional. So how can love be unconditional when love is so selfish? (I hope that makes sense. XD)

 

Anyways, my point is that love itself is already complicated with all these selfish motives (not necessarily bad ones), so how could it be unconditional by definition?

 

Even if someone came close to giving unconditional love, wouldn't there be always be something that person is seeking out from that person they are giving the favor to? Be it conscious or unconscious reasons?

 

Say, a mother loves her baby, no doubt about that. However, what the baby were suddenly put in extreme danger--say accidently left in the middle of a busy rode, and the mother's only way of saving her baby is to jump in front of the moving car and push the baby stroller out of the way (yeah, I know it's unlikely to happen lol). Seems unconditional on the surface, right? However, can't you say that she is saving the baby's life for biological reasons. Like in order for her genes to be carried on the baby must survive. Wouldn't then that be selfish reasons instead of "unconditional love". I'm pretty sure I heard this in my anthropolgy class earlier this year, so the example not my own...

 

So you see, even if the intentions seem unconditional, I think you can't escape the selfish motives behind love.

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@ktc - yes...it's a profit-driven intangible...

 

@dis - the selfish motives behind love are what drive the whole belief that one must be loved or find someone to love...

 

s

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hmm, these talk about unconditional love made me feel thankful.. i mean, i believe its a good thing that these kind of emotions exists. :) but still, i think it depends upon the person how they will view unconditional love :)

 

aww, love.. just a 4-letter word, and yet, it's scope is very wide indeed :)

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Love is magical in many ways. Unconditional love would be an awesome feeling- pity it does not not exist.

Someone said love is not Telepathy, have you heard of combined memory? Couples have shared memories. If your partner tells you 100 things or if a stranger tells you 100 things, you will remember what your partner said. Google it. Real research

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“Unconditional Love” - Yah Right.

 

@theone:

 

Telepathy is different from remembering what your partner/friend/family member said.

 

Research: that’s only if you have a good memory lol.

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@theone:

 

Telepathy means the ability to read a person's mind/thoughts, not having uber awesome selective memory lol.

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