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TrueShadow

Aveyond-Rhen's Quest (a parody of the whole AV1 story)

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*waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting**waiting*and even more *waiting*

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*Appears out of nowhere*

*Looks around the posts*

*in a small voice"...sorry...

Yeah, for more than half a year I just got...how do you say it? 'Detached' from Aveyond-verse. I just got TLO like 2 weeks ago and that certainly brings me back here.

 

Let's go for the next chapter!! Just be wary that I have forgotten most of AV1's quests, location names, and my plans for the next chapters...I even have to look at a guide for the area's names. I'm amazed I can still remember Elini's full name

 

Chapter 17 : Elini the Demon Summoner

 

Little girl : Mommy, what are these skeletons?

Mommy : Oh, dear, it's supposed to be characters from a parody, but the author doesn't continue it until now and the characters have died of old age.

Skeleton : *wakes up* GRAAHH!!

Mommy and Girl : AAAHHHH!! *runs*

Skeleton : Hey, TrueShadow, it's not supposed to be like this!! Why are you absent for so long??

TrueShadow : Why do you want to know? You're just a character!!

Skeleton : What? Take this!! *swings sword*

TrueShadow : *yawn* Did a mosquito bite me? Now, TAKE THIS!

Skeleton : *crumbles* Wha? How..?

TrueShadow : Hmhmhm, I just backed out last time for comedic purpose only, but this is my TRUE POWER!! Remember, I'm the creator of this story, meaning I'M THE RULER!! I'M THE GOD HERE!! MWAHAHAHAHA *maniacal laughter*

True Shadow : *serious face* But seriously, I won't do an intro like this again, even if I'm absent for a long time again. It's getting old IMO. Now, TIME TRAVEL and pretend like nothing happened after the previous chapter.

 

Wildwoods Entrance

 

Rhen : Hey, are you still waiting for a companion?

Elini : Ooh, you're those cute kids from before. Yes, I am still waiting.

Rhen : Well, the news is, we've graduated from school. So maybe we can travel together?

Elini : Oh, that would be a pleasure. I came from a south city called Veldt and my name is Elinidana'ter Lithir de Arathi..no, it's Elinidana'ter Lirmathi..no, no..it's...

Lars : Elinidana'ter Lithir de Aramati.

Elini : How do you know my name? Are you *gasp* a stalker? Ooh, what a cute, naughty boy. Hmhmhm...

Rhen : *gasp* Stalker!?! Lars, I know you're a big snobby robot jerk but...

Lars : NO! NO! NO! I searched the internet for her full name.

Rhen : Internet? What's that? Is that delicious?

Lars : *sigh*...

Rhen : Anyway, why are you traveling here, Elinidana'ter Lithiremati...what's your name again?

Elini : ...Just call me Elini. You know, I'm looking for a *dramatic-style* husband...a true love.

Rhen : Oooohhh, so sweet...

Elini : Yes, I've been looking so hard for my fourth love...

Rhen : *drama-style ends* What? Fourth?

Elini : Yes, of course I can't be a real Veldt woman until I have all hot guys as my toy-err, husband.

Rhen : oh...

Elini : Now, boy, want to be my new husband? You're pretty cute.

Lars : There is no way I am marrying a boy-loving granny.

Elini : WHA-I'LL KILL YOU!!!

Rhen : *sigh* Is this party really alright?

 

[Elini has joined the party]

 

 

Land's End

 

Rhen : By the way, Elini, what can you do in battle.

Elini : You see, I'm a demon summoner. I can call demons as my sla--underlings

Rhen : Wow, that's cool. Are they summons like Final Fantasy summons?

Elini : Actually, no, they're just overpriced magic skills with power highly unproportional to the real demon.

Rhen : Lame. Can I at least see it? There's this birdie here.

Elini : Okay, fine. AH' NEED YUR' HALP!!

Lars : Isn't that supposed to be my line?

Elini : Meh, it's not like anybody gonna get the reference. Summon Ravwyrn!

Ravwyrn : *caw*

Enemy Ravwyrn : *caw*

Ravwyrn : *caw**caw*

Enemy Ravwyrn : *caw*

Ravwyrn : *caaaaw*

Enemy Ravwyrn : *caaaw**caaaw*

Ravwyrn : *caw*

Both : *fly away*

Elini : Hey, where are you going??

Lars : According to my "Bird Language Translator" their conversation is as follow

Ravwyrn : Finally, I can get out!

Enemy Ravwyrn : Hey, dude, long time no see.

Ravwyrn : Oh, hello, too, dude.

Enemy Ravwyrn : Where have you been all this time?

Ravwyrn : I've been trapped as this dumb-looking summoner's slave. It totally sucks working for her.

Enemy Ravwyrn : Wow, sounds tough. Now that you're free, why don't we go for a drink?

Ravwyrn : Good idea, pal!

 

[You have lost Ravwyrn. Ravwyrn is no longer available to use]

 

Elini : Oh,darn!! I'll totally whip his a when he comes back.

Rhen : And that's your only spell which targets all foe.

Elini : Don't say that.

 

 

 

Yeah, this chapter is all about Elini. Sorry if it's a bit lame. The reference is about a game called Persona 3 (yeah, I love that series) where there's a robot girl who after a certain point in the story, start saying "I need your help" which she pronounced like "Ah need yur halp" when summoning things in battle.

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My taking on Elini's summoning is that she trapped them in an alternate dimension of sorts when she's not summoning them. And since the Ravwyrn escaped, she's no longer able to summon it. Of course, she could have returned it before it flew away, but that would take the fun out and in this parody the characters aren't that bright.

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i've reread your parody from start to end and i still enjoy it. i still sing the dora reference when i get to that part... it's automatic! argh. Anyway, nice to see you continuing this again after a long break. :D

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I put some parts in white color because it contains some jokes not really suitable for children. If you are under 13, please do not read the whitened part. If any of you have read it and thinks it still mustn't be showed no matter what, please say so. I personally think it's not that much, though, but seeing how Amaranth is so kid-friendly...

 

Chapter 18 : The Tales of Land's End

 

After a (not so) heartbreaking incident with the Ravwyrn, the party decided to search around Land's End. They then found the Druid's temple, with Vohu Manah already frozen.

 

Vohu Manah's Temple

 

Rhen : N-No, we're too late!! He's DEAD! Now, this world is doomed!

Lars : It seems that his soul has been taken.

Rhen : We've failed! Noooo! We've FAILED!!

Elini : I sense a demon scent around. It must be a demon's doing.

Lars : If we could defeat this demon and retrieve his soul then we might be able to-

Rhen : NOOOO!!! IF ONLY WE COULD ARRIVE SOONER!!!!

Lars : Rhen, listen-

Rhen : NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Lars : THUNDERSTORM!!

 

A while later

 

Elini : Have you calmed down, girl?

Rhen : *crispy* I guess...Let's look around a bit for hints..

 

And so the party searches around Land's End again

 

Near Magic Garden

 

Dog : Woof! Woof!

Rhen : Come on, little doggy-

Dog : *bites* Grr..

Rhen : Ouche, he bit me!

Elini : Now, now, now, that's not the right way to handle a dog. Now, cute puppy, come to big sis

Dog : Woof! *runs closer to Elini*

Elini : Yeah, good bo-

Dog : *pees*

Rhen : *jawdrop*....

Lars : ....

Elini : ....Oh, baaad boy. I think you need some punishment *readies whip*

Dog : *whimper**gets ready to run*

Elini : COME BACK HERE YOU STUPID DOG!!!!! *lashes whip around while chasing the dog*

Rhen : ...Well, at least she's taken care of the dog. Let's see what's beyond here.

 

Magical Garden

 

Granny : Welcome to my garden, visitors!

Rhen : What garden is this?

Granny : This is a magical garden, everything you plant here will grow up in minutes, as long as nobody's looking.

Rhen : Sounds convenient.

Granny : I know, right? Now you can use this garden if you wish since you've passed the test.

Rhen : Uhh, test?

Granny : Yes. My dog is there to test whether you're smart enough. You brought him the bone I hid near here, right?

Rhen : Bone? Umm about that..

Elini : *appears* Phew, finally I can give this dog a lesson! Damn, it was so fast. I got tired so easily. Looks like I'm getting old.

Lars : Oh, you realized?

Elini : Shut up.

Dog : *all beaten up* *whimper*

Granny : Nooo!! My cutie-lovely-adowable doooogg!! What have you done?? I won't let you use this garden EVER!!

Rhen : Well, it's not like we need to for now. Let's get outta here and look around more.

 

And so the party searches around Land's End again.

 

Rhen : Look! A cave!

Lars : What is inside?

 

Mt.Orion Cave

 

Rhen : A monument. There's an engraving.

 

"For those who want to pass, GIMME SOMETHING I WANT!! AND I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU WHAT IT IS!! HAPPY GUESSING!" - God of this place.

 

Rhen : What a jerk..Let's just swim through this tiny river.

Elini : Swimming? What's that?

Lars : I have never heard of the word 'swim' before. Is that your imagination going wild again?

Rhen : ...Fine, forget it. Now can you think of something this guy wants?

 

 

Everybody thinks for a minute

 

Elini : I know!

Rhen : What is it?

Elini : What we need is...A VIRGIN SACRIFICE!

Rhen : Virgin sacrifice? That kinda makes sense. But who would be the sacrifice? I'm the main character, so if I die here it'd all be over. Elini?

Elini : Dude, I have three husbands.

Rhen : Right, I forgot. Lars?

Divine Voice : I'M A STRAIGHT GUY, DARNIT!

Rhen : ...Okay, looks like that won't work. Oh, what about that granny in the garden? Doesn't look like she's married.

Divine Voice : NO WAY!! Okay, I'll give you a hint. It's not a virgin sacrifice and it's actually some kind of fruit. You guys are so...so..*cries*

Lars : Hmm, how about pomegranate?

Rhen : Huh, pom-grenade? Lars, no matter how I see it, using pompoms as grenades is outright weird.

Lars : POMEGRANATES. It is a type of fruit often served to the gods.

Rhen : Oooh, good thinking. Let's look around. There must be some pomegranates seeds conveniently placed near here. It's just the way this game works.

 

And so the party searches around the Land's End...again. I swear this is the last one.

 

Rhen : Look, some pomegranate seeds.

Elini : Excellent, let's plant it in that garden.

Rhen : But the owner was...

Elini : Don't worry, I have a plan. But where's the garden again?

Rhen : Oh, we'll just have to search around aga-

TrueShadow : NO!

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Finally, a daeva fight!! Hopefully you like my version of Nanghaitya :lol:

 

Chapter 19 : The First Daeva

 

Magical Garden

 

Granny : What do you want? Didn't I tell you-Zzzzzzz

Rhen : Huh? Why did she fall asleep on her own? *looks at Elini*

Elini : *hides her anesthetic blowpipe* What?

Rhen : Nothing. Now we can grow the pomegranates. *plants* She said it'll grow in a flash if we didn't look. Turn around everybody!

 

Everybody turns around.

 

Rhen : Now, let's see it again.

 

Everybody looks at the pomegranate seeds again. It still hasn't grown.

 

Rhen : That's weird.

Granny : Gotcha! By "don't look" I mean "get out of this map". Bet you didn't see that coming, huh? Zzzzzzzzz

Rhen : Is she...talking in her sleep?

Lars : Does not matter. Let's just do as she say.

 

And so the team exits the map and enter it again. Now, the pomegranate has grown. That's just absurd...

 

Rhen : Totally.

Elini : Who're you talking to?

Rhen : Nothing. Let's just give it to that monument.

 

Mt.Orion Cave

 

The party places the pomegranate on the monument. A portal appeared out of nowhere.

 

Rhen : A portal? It wasn't a portal in the original game.

TrueShadow : That's because I'm too lazy to write about the stories while you're climbing up. Besides, there aren't much, anyway.

Rhen : Saves us the hassle, too. Thanks.

 

Mt.Orion Peak

 

The party has reached the top of the mountains with(out) great effort. They now face a demon greeting them.

 

Nanghaitya : Look, isn't the sunset so beautiful from up here. It is so tres bien.

Rhen : Uhh, it's still the middle of the day here.

Nanghaitya : That is not important. It is the beauty of the nature that is important.

Rhen : This guy is seriously nuts. Anyway, who are you? Are you the one who stole Vohu Manah's soul?

Nanghaitya : Oh, my, how could I forget to introduce myself? My name is Nanghaitya, the daeva of beauty and elegance. *starts doing poses*. I assume you are the Chosen One, yes?

Rhen : Yes, I am, Nangthya.

Nanghaitya : Non, non, non. It is Nanghaitya.

Rhen : Nanghawhat? Whatever, I'll just call you Mid-Boss.

Mid-Boss : Mi-Mid-Mid-Boss? Such a great insult! I will make you pay for this awful sin!

Elini : He's pretty hot when he's angry, you know.

Mid-Boss : Oh, thank you m'lady. Now, you will see how beautiful I truly am! Hahahaha! *cast Charm on Elini*

Elini : *Charm'd* *gasp* You're the most amazing looking man I've ever known!

Mid-Boss : Of course. Now, shall I make you all appreciate my beauty? *gets whipped* Ouch, what was that?

Elini : Oh, sorry. I can't help but doing that on hot guys. Do you want more? *huff*

Mid-Boss : Uh-oh. N-No, thanks.

Elini : Now, don't be so shy..

Mid-Boss : *runs* HEEEEELLLPPP!!

Elini : Come back here, sweetie! *chases with lashing whip around*

Rhen : ...We didn't get to do anything, huh?

Lars : That is true.

 

A while later

 

Rhen : Looks like spell has worn off. You okay, Elini?

Elini : Man, I can't believe I was chasing after him. I want some manly guys, not sissies like him.

Mid-Boss : *all beaten up* Sissy!! That's-

Lars : You should not talk anymore.

Rhen : We got the soul, now what should we do with him?

Elini : Let's make him one of my slave. He's a demon, so I can trap him.

Rhen : You said you don't like sissy guys.

Elini : Maybe my taste will change somewhere in the future.

Rhen : Oh well.

 

 

 

Yeah, now you know Elini is that kind of woman :lol:. And Lars really doesn't do anything in this chapter.

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Durhurhurrr.... You remind me of that old crack plot of mine where Elini decides that Nanghaithya makes a good husband and forces him to marry her :evil: Although I seriously canNOT imagine Nanghaithya acting like that. I can imagine Agas, Saurva, or Tawrich doing that, but not Nanghaithya :D

 

Can't wait to see the rest!!! Especially Pervert-Agas *snerk* :evil: Let's see if he actually molests Rhen to give Dameon a heart attack... Oh wait, that's my Agas, not yours.

 

Oh wait, Lars is not a robot anymore? But I LIKE robot-Lars!!! *sad*

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Thanks for the responses, guys. I can't update now 'cause I have ABSOLUTELY no idea how to make the part after this to be funny. Wait a few days please.

 

@D_A

 

Lars is still a robot, I just can't find the right time to insert a robot joke. For now, just imagine him speaking in a 'robotic' way.

 

 

No comment on the 'virgin' part?

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The virgin part? No. I'm too preoccupied with Nanghaithya, being the daeva fantard that I am... Seriously, from what little of them we've seen thus far, it looks like our daevas are somewhat similar so I can't wait to see the rest... Especially Zarich and Saurva, because... well... mine's a bit going far out of the "norm", i.e they don't act like what people would normally expect them to be like.

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I mean whether it's alright to show that part normally instead of putting it in white. Or if it's alright to even write those. And I was asking that to people in general, not just D_A.

 

Yes, I can't wait to show the other daevas as well. They're my favorite parts of this parody...although I still have no idea what to do with Saurva and Aesma, but those are still far away.

 

One spoiler-ish hint : Indra is the sanest daeva (and pretty much, the sanest person) here i.e. she doesn't do anything stupid. I have a reason for that, but I won't tell you now <3

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